Nope. They were buy-one-get-one-free at the hospital, and I thought they were cute and decided to take two home.
Going out in public with twin babies makes you feel like a circus. Doesn’t matter where you go, you instantly become an attraction. People will stop and turn around just to have a look at them, they will ask you a million questions (some that are pretty personal), and they will still ask if you have a boy and a girl even if you’ve dressed both of them in pink and with bows on their little heads (I honestly had to hold back when answering that question in that situation).
Even while I was pregnant, I’d get asked questions such as “Wow, you look like you’re ready to pop! Must be a couple weeks out, right?” and “Oh, wow, twins… Are you excited? Do you have help? Are you going to stay home?” and “Were they conceived naturally?” and “Do you have twins in your family?” and some comments along the lines of “Twins?! Oof. Better you than me!” or “You are so blessed,” or “I’d never want twins… Good luck!” Thanks, douche.
It’s understandable why twins are so exciting and interesting to be around – it’s two adorable babies at once, in my case, babies that were once one fertilized egg that then split into two after its DNA strand was basically done forming. While I understand that there are curiosities and opinions (SO MANY, and most are unwanted), it not only gets a little redundant to be answering some of those questions but they also start sounding a little rude or too personal. I did answer the “were they natural, or…?” question with “Yep, through good ol’ fucking” before. But that’s when I had been asked the SAME question 5 times that day. Either way, why does it even matter?! People have no manners (and I probably sounded like I didn’t, either).
I have noticed that I don’t mind answering twin questions when I’m not with them – I’ve also noticed that I’m “that mom” that shoves pictures of her babies in strangers’ faces whenever there’s any kind of talk that leads me into talking about them (99% of conversations end up that way). I think I’m too worried about anyone trying to touch the stroller or the girls themselves while I’m out with them to think about being polite over the “ooh”s and “ahh”s of curious people.
As they’re getting a little bigger (they’re 7 months already!!!!!), it’s becoming a little easier to take them out. But the questions and comments are changing. “How old are they? Oh my goodness, they’re so small for that age,” and “Are they on the same schedule?” and “Wow, you look rested for having two babies,” and “Are you going to have more kids?” and “Does the dad help?” and “Is dad babysitting?”
That last question I always find absurd. First of all, in case you missed the gigantic rock followed by a lovely wedding band on my left ring finger, he’s not just the “dad”. He’s my husband, too. Not only that, he’s an excellent father to his babies, and we both care for the girls together. I see a lot of complaining about dads in a lot of twin groups on Facebook and, while I’m aware that not every relationship plays out perfectly, the assumption that the mothers are the only ones who care for their babies is ridiculous. My husband doesn’t babysit. He takes care of his children while I’m finishing up my shift, or run to the store, or have to go to a different state for work (I can’t wait to get home to my little family tomorrow). And it’s not a thing exclusive to heterosexual couples – I see it a lot with same-sex couples too (especially with lesbian couples). Doesn’t matter which momma had the babies, they’re both moms and both care for the babies, whether it’s together, while one works, or in shifts so they get sleep. Simple as that – parents don’t “babysit”. I know two excellent mommies who have the cutest twins, and they take such good care of them together (you can check out my friend’s fantastic blog – and adorable babies – here!).
In the end, I do understand the curiosity of people who don’t have twins or know anyone with twins, but I wish they’d think before the questions and comments poured out of their mouths. I’m already stressing while out with the girls because I don’t want them to fuss, I gotta make sure they don’t need to eat anytime soon, and I normally have to get things done within a time frame as to not mess up their schedule. Since they’ve started smiling, it’s actually a sweet sight when they smile at strangers who “aww” them or wave at them.
I do hear that the questions and staring stop once they start talking… So there’s that to look forward to.