Pregnant? Congratulations! Oh, momma. Sit down, we gotta talk.
Welcome to the world of Motherhood. It’s a world filled with never-ending feeding, burping, diapering, and soothing while you operate on very little sleep. Well, at least for the first few months. When I was pregnant, I got all sorts of advice and opinions and suggestions and lists full of must-haves. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to tell you that you’ll be okay, and provide you with unwanted advice of my own.
- Don’t get pressured on how to feel.
Yes. That goes for both pregnancy and post-pregnancy. Every mother tells tales of love at first sight with their babies, immediate bonding. Don’t buy into that. If you feel it – fantastic. If you don’t feel it right away, don’t feel inadequate. You’re a normal human being with feelings, and you’re entitled to your own with no explanations. I do suggest you focus on the good side of things and take deep breaths. Everything will fall into place eventually.
- Take everything with a grain of salt.
You have to at least attempt to breastfeed. You need organic baby food. Feed your twins at the same time. Keep your twins on a tight schedule. Oh,please. I heard it all during pregnancy and it wasn’t until my girls were born and home that I realized I instinctively learned what worked best for us. It wasn’t instantaneous, it did take a few days to realize what kept the babies happy and my husband and I sane. And don’t take everything literally. Every baby and every pregnancy is different. You figure out your own way of doing things and block the “you must do this” and “you gotta do that” that people will throw at you.
- Remember that you’re also a human being.
You’re a human. You have feelings, you get hungry, you get tired, you get cranky. Respect your limits, because you will find what yours are very early on. Your partner is also human, so compromise, collaborate, communicate. The three C’s.
- It’s perfectly fine to seek help.
Some mommas are affected by Postpartum Depression. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it doesn’t discriminate, and it is what is it. If you do feel like something isn’t quite right, seek help. Talk to your doctor. Modern medicine and therapy can do wonders these days, even if you are breastfeeding. No shame in being human (refer to number 3).
- It’s OK to admit that things aren’t always great.
Having a baby (or babies) is not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. There will be days where you’ll feel like you’re losing your mind and will question your decision to have babies. It’s OK to feel like that. It’s normal. It’s a huge change in your life, and things will adapt and come together with time. Just make sure to seek help if you feel it worsening, as it could be early signs of PPD (refer to number 4).
Most of the time, mothers will give advice strictly on how to raise your babies. There are lots of books, countless articles, and infinite amounts of social media groups for that. My advice to you is what nobody told me about – how your perception of things and mental health can take a dive into the new mommy abyss. Raise your babies as you see fit, but do take care of yourself. Your babies will need you to care for and snuggle them. Congratulations, momma, and welcome to this crazy, amazing, and irreplaceable world of Motherhood.