The Last 7 Months

The girls have been home for 7 months now (well, Lydia will be home for 7 months on the 16th, but you get the point). These have been the fastest, hardest, funniest, funnest, and most amazing 7 months of my life.

Our two little nuggets have gone from burrito babies – what we called them when we used to swaddle them – to babbling, screaming babies. Where has the time gone?! People weren’t kidding when they told me to cherish the middle-of-the-night snuggles and cuddles, and I truly miss those. Though I do feel that I would’ve enjoyed those more if I were more rested, those were simple times where the babies would just lay on my chest, sleep, sigh, and hear my heart beating full of love for them. I mean, just look at those two boops when they were only 2 months old (but only about 37 weeks gestation, not even at their due date yet) and 5lbs:

We went from feeding them every two hours and holding them upright for 30 minutes due to reflux to feeding them every three to four hours, and only having to hold them for about five minutes to let their tummies settle. Insane diaper explosions have lessened significantly, and now are an almost rare occurrence. Spit-ups have diminished and gone into the West (sorry, Lord of the Rings reference), and gone are the days of staying in their crib all day. We have very active almost-9-month-olds, who are pros at screaming and being illogically cute while doing it. They love carrots, blended mac and cheese with veggies, oatmeal, and they drain their bottles. They were drinking 70ml (2.36oz) in 20 minutes when they came home from the NICU, now they drain 5 to 5.5oz in 7 minutes. They’re also much easier to burp. They slept in two-hour increments. Now, they sleep from 9pm to 7am (THANK THE UNIVERSE, HOLY SHIT) and take two naps during the day.

Thinking back to all the newborn stage struggles, I can’t honestly remember how we got to where we are now. I don’t remember hitting milestones with milk amounts, hours slept, or when the babbling began. It’s all such a blur… It makes me sad. Of course, I remember them so little. I remember their smell, I remember their constant grunting that kept me awake all night, I remember how their tiny voices were only heard when they were hungry or wanted to be picked up. I do remember the first time they slept through the night, though. I was half expecting myself to not be able to sleep and constantly check up on them, but it was quite the contrary. I passed the fuck out, and when I woke up to their little sounds, I remember thinking “It’s light outside. WAIT. DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!”

I now see why people have another baby so quickly. It is a feeling that cannot be described when you have a little one (or two) staring at your face, grabbing it with both hands while cooing, and then smacking it just as quickly as you can blink. It is the most amazing feeling in your chest when your little one starts blabbing instead of drinking her bottle while it’s warm, so you have to get up and reheat it because she won’t drink it “cold” (ahem, Lydia). It makes me want to run home from work when I get a video of them screaming at the camera, their mouths wide open in a smile. I can’t believe they’re SITTING UP now! With some support, but they’re excelling at it!

The past seven months have gone by so quickly. It’s not fair. I kept telling myself, I can’t wait until they sleep all night, and I can’t wait until they roll over. Well, they did, and they grew while at it. Time, please slow down. I don’t spend enough time with them to truly appreciate the amazing little baby geniuses they are, and I am in dire need of constant baby snuggles and slaps and face-eating with drool made out of formula.

Those two little faces have given my life so much meaning. I was born to be their mom. I just had to have twins, and it just had to be River and Lydia. They’re so perfect in every way, and I am so lucky to be their mom. I literally cannot express how much I love these two, and just how amazing they are in their own different ways. My heart is bursting out of my chest with love for the two little creatures sleeping in the other room, and my eyes fill up every time I look at their pictures or watch their videos. I love them so fucking much.

Here’s to the last 7 months, and to many more days filled with love, giggles, snuggles, poopy diapers, screaming, babbling, face-slapping, and learning.

I’m not crying, you are.

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