… I feel as if I have stepped out of the low, depressive state I had been looming in for a while. I do find myself getting the in the angry, hyper, and overall manic realm, though, and that’s a little more tolerable than being depressed.
With all that said, we had an excellent weekend. My beloved work friend and “birth pro” while I was having insane contractions at the hospital, Deja, worked for me on Saturday. You read that right – I had a Saturday off. I wish that happened more often. So, since we both had the day off, Rick and I packed up the girls and some things for them, grabbed the dog, and made our way to see his side of the family in Syracuse. We had a blast.
Huge props to my mother-in-law for buying a huge box of wine and having more at home for all the drinking and relaxing my heart desired. Almost the whole family was there – his parents, his brother and his girlfriend and her kiddo, both grandmothers, all aunts except for one, and all the little cousins – including the original set of identical twin girls in the family before our girls were born. Everyone loved on the girls, which gave me and Rick a chance to relax. With so many parents under one roof, we had absolutely zero reservations about going around and doing our own thing without the babies. The girls got to hang out with their (second) cousins, got a hug from their youngest cousin, Maddox, and he even smooched River on the cheek! We were too slow to take the picture, though.
It was the way I’d love to have every Saturday go – awesome company, my MIL’s amazing buffalo chicken dip, sitting on the patio in the warm weather without bugs surrounding us, eating pizza… If only I didn’t have to work on Saturdays.
Rick and I have been doing really well. We haven’t argued since Friday, and there’s no more tension or anger looming around us. I’m not sure what happened or when it actually clicked, but I think we decided we don’t want to fight anymore and we’re both working on what we need to do to make each other and, in turn, ourselves happy. Marriage is a two-way street. You can’t block one side and expect it to all be smooth as River and Lydia’s bottoms without timing and cooperation. It’s nice to be nice to each other. Why wouldn’t you want to be in good terms with the love of your life, best friend, partner in crime, and fellow parent of your children?
I’ve had to work a lot in the last three days. When we came back to reality and I went to work on Sunday, I didn’t leave there until 7:30pm, then helped put the girls to bed at 9pm, went to bed myself at around 11pm (thanks, Denny’s, for taking a long time to deliver my delicious Philly Steak melt), and got up at 3am for work. Then, I worked from 4am to 7:30pm, put the girls to bed at 9pm, looked at the clock for the last time at 10:30pm, and woke up at 2am for work, coming home at 12pm. Emerson couldn’t watch the girls today, so I tried to shove my exhaustion, stress, and needs aside as best as I could and hung out with these two cranky butts.
They’re teething, cranky, easily bored, and in constant need of attention. And let’ not forget we have two babies. But they are doing so well – healthy, sitting up like big girls (we have to actually guide and place them in the sitting position, still working on getting them to sit up by themselves), “talking” and screaming up a storm, laughing their little butts off, showing more of their very different personalities, and keeping us busier and busier as the days pass. Also, they’re the cutest babies I’ve ever seen in my life.
Rick said the most accurate thing the other night – sure, everyone who’s had kids says that this is all normal, and “welcome to parenthood”. Picture a family as a juggler: the juggler holding one ball in one hand has the other hand free and can hold it with either hands, allowing flexibility. However, if one hand is constantly busy, the other will have to hold the ball. Now, if the juggler has two balls, both hands hold one. And, when one is busy, the other hand must toss and juggle the two balls until the other hand is available again, leaving no room for error in timing and no time to spare. THAT is what being full-time working parents of twins feels like.
Speaking of work, I came to a realization the other day. Well, it kind of slapped me right in the face as I was behind our ticket counter, staring at Dunkin’ Donuts. I will allow myself to be incredibly vague for now, and just say that Rick and I are assessing a couple of different ideas and options in order to make our lives easier and our bank accounts happier. It will most likely take time, luck, a few sacrifices, and actually making time to get it started for it all to come to fruition, but I am very certain that it will all work out the way it’s supposed to. Unless, of course, we win the lottery (kind of unlikely, as we don’t even play it). But hey, a girl can dream.
Speaking of dreaming… I better go catch up on some sleep.