Words Don’t Do it Justice

So here’s a video.


That’s our Lazy Lydia Baby, army crawling after a freaking baby Cheeto (Gerber’s Lil’ Crunchies). It’s how I know she’s my daughter – because she’s motivated by food.

Taking this in as well as having a busy and mentally trying week, I’ve had no time (or motivation, really) to write. I feel that if I were to write anything down, it’d be unfiltered and too much would come out at once.

Don’t fret – we’re fine. Just life doing what it does best – kicking you while you’re down – and we’re trying to do what we do best – trying to not drown. Years from now, we’ll be reminiscing on how we came out of this on top and with a few scars to show for our fight. But, for now, we stress and worry and argue and make peace and figure things out. It’s what you do when life (or kids) doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

The girls are 11 months old now. They’re almost one. My head hurts and I’m wondering how the hell did I not notice time going by so fast, how their little faces changed overnight, how their hair grew so freakishly fast. How did I miss the subtle changes? How much more am I going to miss even though they’re right in front of my face everyday? I wish I could put life on pause right now.

Where the fuck is that damned remote…?

In honor of Prematurity Awareness Month, here’s a link to my March of Dimes team. We’ll be walking again on May 19th, in Rochester NY. Feel free to join us, or donate if you can! Click here to go to Team River and Lydia’s page.

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