Joke Sandwich

Did you know that when people tell you to calm your horses they’re actually telling you to be stable?


Hello, my name is Camila and welcome to Bad Mom Jokes.

Just kidding, that was just my cold open because I didn’t know how else to start this out. It’s been such a busy month! Thankfully, busy but healthy – no more hospital visits or worries or intense sicknesses!

River and Lydia have been hilarious lately – Lydia has picked up the word “no” and says it at random times with utmost sass, throwing in an “ummm” before she says it, and she also says “yeah”. She has two full teeth, two half teeth (you know, they’re halfway out), and two more peeking out, and she loves having her teeth brushed. She’s taking steps by herself – that’s right, she’s actually walking up to 5 steps with no assistance! She has also discovered her love for our “doggy” Zelda, whom she follows around and constantly aggressively pets. Lydia loves pancakes, blows kisses when she says bye-bye, weighs 18lbs 12oz, is the same height as a full-term 15 month old, and still loves sucking on her thumb.


River is the most mischievous little tot. She understands the word “no” and has started to challenge it, she says “good”, “bye-bye”, “doggyen” (yes, doggie with extra sounds), and “yellow”. She has four full teeth and two peeking out, and loves having her teeth brushed. She doesn’t quite take steps on her own yet, which is a huge surprise, but she will walk along with us holding her hand. She has the craziest hair and loves to tackle her sister down. She weighs 19lbs 5oz, is an inch taller than Lydia, loves hot dogs, and constantly bounces up and down while walking on her knees.


Both girls now hold their own bottles and sippy cups, and it’s been such a timesaver! And a tad bittersweet. I miss cuddling them and giving them a bottle one at a time, but this is a necessary milestone so I can keep my sanity (until they start walking).

Health-wise, things have finally calmed down. Both girls now use inhalers twice a day to contain any shortness of breath or wheezing, and they both have rescue inhalers in case they do wheeze. Since implementing this, we have finally obtained control of their colds and congestion, and went through a week-and-a-half long cold without any worries whatsoever. Take that, 28-weeker premature lungs!

Speaking of lungs, River does have a chest x-ray appointment coming up next week, just to rule out anything that was contributing to our three hospital visits and two stays this year. But I’m confident that it’ll come back clear and normal. Because why wouldn’t it? Exactly.

It’s been absolutely amazing the amount of milestones, little and big, that River and Lydia have reached in this short month. Babies will walk when they’re ready, and considering their corrected age of only 12 months versus 15, they’re right on target. They’ve also grown quite a lot, they’re definitely looking like toddlers and not babies. It’s a little heartbreaking, but babies don’t stay babies forever.

I also have to say that this has been my favorite stage in their growth. They’re such happy and funny babies, and they’re discovering things, interacting with each other more and more each day (they’re even high-fiving each other for crying out loud), and their personalities come through more and more each day. Boy, are they different.

With them getting bigger by the second, Rick and I are working on selling our tiny townhouse and moving to a bigger house.

Wish us luck.

With two babies and not enough help, getting this disaster area cleaned up and organized for open-houses and such will be an Olympic-caliber task. But we got this. We’ll make it happen. Somehow.

Time to finish my adult beverage and hop into bed. Work has been insane for the past week or so, and this mama needs her sleep. I have a few more things I’ve been meaning to write about (ahem mental health updates), and I’ll get it done in the next couple of days.

I’ll leave you with one more joke.

If I were a dog, what kind of dog would I be?

A momeranian.


Goodnight, y’all.

I’m sorry.

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