I went into the gym today at 8:30am to get a one-on-one orientation with my friend Jes (remember her form my last post?) and a light, introductory work out with the equipment I’ve never used before.
I left crying.
Not because I was tired or sore or because it was a bad time – I had a heck of a good time. I was simply disgusted with what I saw in the mirror. Flabby arms, fat belly, C-section pouch obvious through any workout clothes I wear. It was a little too much for me to take in, so I did what I did best – cry about it. So, I’m raging war on my looks.
A week ago, Jes talked about an awesome 21-day challenge she’s doing with a team, and it grants a whole year of access to a very well-known fitness group called Beach Body. Yes. Of course I said yes. So, I’m signed up and waiting for my 21 Day Fix and Shakeology kit to arrive tomorrow, and decided to give myself a head start by meal prepping and attending the gym everyday for the past 5 days. I feel great doing so, and I got over the initial “my body is trying to die” soreness just fine. I also know it’ll take some time for me to get slim, and I have to accept that harsh reality of what I currently look like.
It’s a good thing I have always been athletic – I did Judo and gymnastics when I was little, took dance classes, played soccer, I am a 3rd degree Black Belt in TaeKwon Do and I taught it for a little while, I went to the gym in college… And now I’m going to the gym again. So, needless to say, I enjoy being physically active. I just wish it didn’t take this long to see any results – pretty unrealistic thinking here, there’s no way to go from 173 back to my pre-baby 135 in a heartbeat. But I’ll get there with motivation, right nutrition, and my personal cheerleader Jes.
Jes and I met when we were both very pregnant while she worked at our favorite diner. She instantly became our favorite waitress and we’d always see her and request her. Then, we became friends on Facebook and exchanged numbers. Then, we got to know each other a little better and I found out she was a personal trainer and a health coach with Beach Body. Her little girl, Reagan, was born two months before River and Lydia, and we took them on walks by the Erie Canal when they were little. Ever since our first interaction, she’s always been the most optimistic, sweet, and encouraging person when it comes to my health goals. She’s realistic yet kind, and she’s been a huge motivation. She just won a bikini contest, and I’m so proud of her!
So, with all of this being said, I’m cutting the bullshit and adding this to my self-caring: changing my eating habits, taking care of myself, and hitting my goals with my weight and looks.
This is war, bitches.