Surgery Sucks

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Don’t I just look adorable in that hospital gown and hair net? Thanks for the candid picture, mom. I don’t even remember taking it.

I’m currently sitting up on my couch, a large glass of water nearby, watching The World’s Most Extraordinary Homes on Netflix, under my favorite Star Wars blanket, and sucking on a Ricola cough drop. Why am I living the life and not at work?

On Tuesday, September 4th, I had an unilateralĀ salpingo-oophorectomy. In English, it means I had my left ovary removed, as well as a cyst the size of a toddler’s head. For such procedure, I was placed under general anesthesia with a breathing tube down my throat, then had a larger air tube placed down my throat, which provided enough carbon dioxide to bloat up my belly and make it seem like a tent for the doctors to operate in. Meanwhile, I had a little camera shoved in through my belly button, and an incision made on my left side where the cutting off the ovary and cyst happened.

The procedure took an hour, I went home two hours after waking up. I have no voice and my throat is insanely sore. I have pains that remind me of my C-section almost two years ago. I am taking strong pain meds along with my normal, daily cocktail of pills, making sure I am resting and not lifting anything over 5lbs.

That would include my daughters. No picking them up, no holding them, no letting them climb on me, no bending over to play with them, no changing their diapers… Almost no interaction with them. They’re confused, not understanding why mommy suddenly can’t play or pick them up. They’ve been throwing themselves at me (or at the pillow I’ve started using to brace myself when I’m around them), crying. But as I sit on the floor with a really sturdy pillow and watch them play, they start to understand that mommy does still love them very much and this is only temporary. I can’t wait until I can go back to being a crazy mama with my little babes.

River finally understood that sitting and cuddling with mommy on her right side while being careful was the way to go, and Lydia settled for sharing a couch yet lying down on the dog. Poor Zelda.

The biggest mystery to me is the fact I don’t have a voice, and that I have a very phlegmy cough that seems to never end (partially because I can’t fully cough or force my cough so I don’t pop my stitches). The best part is all the love I’ve been getting from my family and friends online, and it’s basically Christmas for me right now.

It just happened to work out that, on the days where I’m stuck at home resting and healing, I’m also getting in the mail: my new MONAT products (it’s hair stuff, and I’m actually now selling it, so more on this lovely new achievement later), my new pair of black pumps, my new Betabrand work pants, and my new Third Love bras. It’s literally the best thing life could’ve thrown at me right now, because now I get to open things and be all happy and warm inside. Though I probably will have to exchange my brand new pumps because they’re a little too big on me… But, as my wise sister says, “a little too big is much better than a little too small”. So it’s safe to say I’ll be waiting until I fully heal and am able to strut around in those beauties before I make a decision.

I just FaceTimed my sister and little Blair, and my voice has decided to make a small comeback! Blair is babbling and becoming a tummy time champ, as well as learning how to grab her toys. So precious! Also, my pain is slowly going away, and I have a feeling I will be back to my normal, crazy self in no time. Well, in two weeks, to be exact. I actually can’t wait to go back go work looking snazzy and without any ovarian pains.

Also, I swear I better have lost a few pounds. That cyst was ginormous. I guess I’ll know once the swelling has come back down.

Ugh. Surgery sucks. But the healing process shouldn’t! Time to go take my third nap of the day… But first, here’s a really good picture of me and Rick on his birthday! We had so much fun at that barcade (and he’s so devilishly handsome).

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Until next time! It’s past the time for my 3rd nap.

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